telemarketers: To be considered foxes, and therefore hunted.

April 17th, 2008 | by sour |

Overall, the telephone has proven to be a pretty useful invention, but it’s become clear that some categories of people should just be fucking banned from using it. These people have proven time and again that they are annoying losers, who need to be shot in the heart. It’s pretty obvious that I’m talking about telemarketers. Mostly because this page is named ‘telemarketers’, and there are pictures of telemarketers. But even more than that, it should be obvious because you’ve all been annoyed by telemarketers in the past, unless you live in the Bangweulu swampland of Zambia, in which case you’re probably viewing this webpage using an abacus hooked up to a morse code machine.

But back to the topic at hand. These telemarketers aren’t just annoying, they’re the goddamn definition of stupid. The idea of commerce works because people go to a shop when they want to buy something, not when the shop wants them to buy something. If shops were like, built on the top of giant trucks, and one day your door bell rang and starbucks was outside asking you to pay $6 for a coffee, I’m sure you’d tell them to get the hell off your property. The concept isn’t a hard one to grasp: if I want to buy your shit I will look you up in the phonebook and give you a call, champion.


The moral of the story here is to not take any shit from these motherfuckers. They are not selling anything you want; they’re reading their information out from a goddamn sheet. And when they make a sale they hang up the phone and laugh at you. Yes, that’s why they always sound so fucking gay when they speak to you, it’s because they’re not even speaking to you, they are reading to you. These telemarketing companies employ 16 year old drug addicted high school dropouts to man the phones and read from a sheet. These little bitches can be annoying, but luckily they are easily defeated in battle, as they have not been taught much in the ways of the phone warrior.

Experienced telemarkewhores are a whole different ballgame. These bitches have been studying the art of annoyance for many years, and are capable of making you feel guilty for hanging up at any moment in the conversation that isn’t one of their own choosing. It can be very difficult to defeat these medusas, unless you remember one vital rule: all telemarketers are spineless scum-creatures who sold their soul to the devil long before you ever met them. So the next time you start feeling guilty about hanging up on a telemarketer, you should just get her address, go to her house, and cut her fucking head off.

I hope they get brain tumors and die.

People who work in call centers are also fucked in the head. They treat everyone like assholes, just because they have to deal with a few retards every day. Well fuckwits, if you didn’t want to deal with the odd retard here and there, then you shouldn’t work in a goddamn call center. It’s a well known fact that call center operators have to deal with a fairly high percentage of idiotic calls, but that isn’t the fault of the average person. So these smarmy gits should learn to lighten up when they serve me. I hate these fucking public servants who think they can treat everyone (by everyone, I mean: people who are superior to them) like shit, just because they made the supremely idiotic career decision of actually working in such a retarded job.

This surly and bitter attitude is present in all dreg of society occupations, most notably the highschool canteen lady, administrative educational staff of all kinds, and nuns. Hey, you guys wrecked your own lives, that doesn’t give you the right to try and fan molecules of your own turd existence into my daily affairs by acting like complete anus biters. All public servants should be officially relegated to a lower social class. That way I could ceremoniously slap them on the face using a glove with a brick in it if they ever showed the slightest sign of disrespect toward me. Can you Digg it?Digg TechnoratiTechnorati BlinklistBlinklist FurlFurl redditReddit

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